You got this

Over the past several years, I’ve been told – whether by different therapists or through bouts of attempting to center myself with yoga classes or meditation –  I should really get a mantra.

But, how do I get a mantra that means something to me? Elizabeth Gilbert in “Eat, Pray, Love” was given a mantra by her Guru. I don’t have a Guru…Also, when I find my mantra, do I have to chant it? I’m not really the chanting type.

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This finding-a-mantra business was hard work. Until.

Last April in Charlotte, my brother and his girlfriend came over for dinner and brought me a gift – a glitter filled tumbler with the words “You got this” scripted on the side. I’ve carried that tumbler around with me – filled with water, lemonade, Gatorade – on the days I feel particularly lackluster to remind myself that I do indeed “got this”.

I think “you got this” not only while “relaxing” in pigeon pose with my hips hurting like whoa, but also while:

Slogging through the last three weeks of class ever

Contemplating how to approach challenging political situations at work

Agonizing over a long to-do list

These “tasks” are comparatively easy though when I think about the other, more emotional, “tasks” I often face such as talking myself out of negative thinking:

Am I worth it?  (Yes, yes you are worth loving, worth the money, worth the time.)

That was all my fault. (No, no definitely not.)

If I had only done X, then that wouldn’t have happened. (Possibly, possibly not – at least you can take a step back and say that you learned something.)

You’ll never have a house to call your own or a family. (You will in time, believe that you will.)

Am I smart enough to do this? (Totally, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.)

Do they like me? (And, so what if they didn’t?)

Did I talk enough? (Seriously? You’re fine. Stop.)

You’re not skinny enough/fit enough to pull that off. (See above – and by the way, eat the friggin’ cookie.)

“You got this” is in many ways the indirect answer to these questions that bounce around my head on a regular basis. It’s a “you can handle this because you’ve got grit” answer and “you can let go of this gracefully” answer.

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“You got this” has become my mantra. Now let’s be clear, I’m not saying my brother is my Guru, and I do not chant this, but, I say this to myself often (and sometimes to others) – even when it feels completely silly or hopeless – so much so that I’ve started to believe it’s true. And that’s the best part of this whole mantra thing – when you believe it’s true. 

With love,

KB